Jacob Loses Control
by twifan010385
Summary: Jacob loses control, and phases... what will happen
1. Chapter 1

Prologue: New Moon, Edward leaves, Bella and Jacob get close, Jacob "breaks up with her", Bella gets mad and says the wrong thing….

*I own nothing… I only wish I was that cool

Bellas POV

"For existing" he hissed

"Fine, Just remember this, I will hate you forever Jacob Black. " I nearly screamed back at him

"And remember this, Jacob, you're no better than they are… you're worse; they didn't truly promise things they didn't intend to keep" I screamed as I turned to walk away.

Not even a second later there was pain ripping through my body and I sank to the forest floor, was the pain of a broken heart really this bad? I was vaguely aware of a loud snarling sound but I couldn't see anything. Oh right my eyes were shut. I struggled to find my eyelids I had to know where the snarling was coming from, was I attacked by those wolves I saw the other day. Did Jacob make it away safely? I opened my eyes just enough to see a huge reddish brown wolf snarling inches from my face. Blackness. Death is easy, peaceful even compared to what I have lived through in the last year… I welcomed death, waited and wished for it really.

Jacobs POV

Agony rippled through my body and I turned and leaped into the woods howling in agony. Within seconds I could feel Sams mind. He immediately sees what has happened and cringes with the pain running through me and remembering his own. He phases back quickly not bothering to put his clothes back on runs to Bella. Within minutes there's a fleet of ambulances' on the sand next to the forest. I watch them pick up Bella's broken body.

"Wow, this looks horrible what did they say happened again? I would bet she doesn't wake up." I hear one of the paramedics commenting.

I lay there hidden on the forest floor sobbing. What had I done? I knew it was dangerous for her to be near me, I saw Sam's vision of Emily's "bear attack". Bella's wounds were so much worse. I had fully attacked her, Sam just phased too close, I had done the worst possible thing I could, I attacked.

Alice's POV

I followed the scent until I couldn't go any further. When Bella left my vision forever, I saw it, she just disappeared. She had been disappearing from my vision a lot lately, but she always came back. I waited a full day before I jumped on the plane and flew to Forks. It had been 3 days, since she disappeared. Ew something reeks, o the La Push mutts.

"What are you doing here?" The talk dark-skinned man flanked by a chocolate brown and a grey wolf.

"I'm looking for someone..." I hesitated and he snapped

"We don't associate with your kind so they couldn't be here, now leave"

"Not until I find Bella, or at least find out what happened to her, her trail ends somewhere around here"

He winced when I said Bella's name, he knows something, but what?

"Just tell me where Bella is and I'll leave" I begged starting to really worry before I had only feared something had happened but the look on his face told me all I needed to know. Something had happened something bad. My stomach turned and I wished I had the ability to throw up.

"She's dead, isn't she?" I managed to choke out through the pain.

"No, she's not dead… yet. She's in the hospital. They don't have much hope for her though." The boy spit back at me. "Now, you know everything you will know now get out of here before…"

"Before you sick your mutts on me, yeah I know." I turn and ran home.

Immediately before I even knew what I was doing, the cell phone was in my hand with Carlisle's number on the screen.

"Carlisle, it's Bella, I don't know what happened I couldn't see she just disappeared and I waited but she never came back so I went looking for her…" I choked on my next sentence

"She's in the hospital, I haven't seen her yet but the La Push mutts said they don't expect her to live."

"What happened?"

"I don't know, I'm on my way to the hospital, I'll find out. Could you come, I… I don't want to be here alone if…" I let my sentence trail off.

"Alice, I'm on my way now, what about Edward… Should we tell him?"

"Not yet, let's see what happened for ourselves first" I couldn't get a good vision of Edward, it seems this will put him at a cross road but I can't see either future it's too blurry to make anything out of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Hospital

Alice's POV

"Excuse me could you tell me what room Bella Swan is in?" I questioned the nurse with her feet up at the Nurses station. Ugh why can't I just see what room she's in? My vision has never been so incomplete; it's irritating to feel so normal.

"Intensive Care, room 315" she announced lazily, not bothering to look professional.

"Thank you" I started to make my way to the elevator then decided the stairs would be faster. Once the door shut I was free to move at top speed. I stopped at the top step, sucked in large amount of air preparing not to breathe for awhile. Knocked gently at the door and heard Charlie fumble to the door.

"Alice" He hugged me. "Why are you here? How'd you know?" suspicion thick in his voice.

"I decided to drop in and when no one was at your house I decided to visit another school friend, and they told me…" I couldn't finish my sentence as I had just looked over at Bella. She looked horrible. Hardly recognizable, suddenly the kid in the corner with the trembling hands caught my eye. I glared at him as I spoke "May I talk with you in the hall?"

The boy got up and followed me out. As soon as we were alone on the deserted hospital wing I turned and hissed "you better stop that you don't want to…"

"Don't worry about it, If I lose control it won't be hard to keep my focus" he growled back at me.

"Why don't you go home dog, you're stinking up the room, I don't blame Bella for not wanting to wake up with YOUR scent in the room"

"Can't" he said threw his teeth, "I have orders" He turned and walked back in the room. My hand immediately flew to my little silver cell phone.

"Carlisle it's bad, I can see it on Charlie's face, and nobody expects her to make it." I sobbed "I can't see anything, so I still don't know what to do about Edward."

"I don't think it would be wise to keep this from him, but I suggest not telling him why he's coming back" I whispered

"Okay I'll call Edward, don't worry about it Alice, just take care of Bella."

Sam's POV

Day three of Jacobs sobbing, he can't get enough control to phase back. He hasn't moved from the forest floor. I phase to my wolf form.

"Jacob, the leeches are back, I stationed Embry at the hospital, and he isn't supposed to move from Bella's side, I'll keep you updated." I thought

I immediately phased back, lately I have had the guys walking the forest in their human form only phasing if they found a trail… No one wants to be in Jacobs head right now, and he prefers the silence.

Edwards POV

The phone vibrated in my pocket continuously for the last 2 hours. I didn't want to be bothered I thought I'd made that clear. I pull the phone out and look at the missed call log, every number my family has… except… Alice's. The phone rings again, I fear something has happened to Alice so I flip the phone open and hit send. "Hello"

"Edward, finally, there's a family emergency in Forks, son. I need you to get here now." Carlisle said in a relieved but tense voice.

"What are you doing in Forks?" I growled

"I don't have time to explain just please, come home; I'll explain everything when you get here… I'll know more by then."

Click. Silence. What was that? If my family needs me I guess I better suck it up and go, sounded like there could be trouble.

Less than 20 minutes later I was on a plane on my way back to the one place that's been screaming my name since I left. I smiled at the thought of returning to the cloudy, small town that would always remain my only true home. Maybe I could check on Bella. NO NO NO. I promised. I will make sure Bella doesn't know I'm there, I'll see what is going on and then after whatever it is is taken care of I WILL leave… again.

Alice's POV

We sat in silence, Charlie's mind was years away probably in Bella's childhood. The mutt was pretending to sleep, Bella still in a coma, and me staring at Bella. Broken sobs coming from my chest when I couldn't control them. I hear footsteps and being that we're the only ones up here I can guess it's someone coming to check on Bella. Someone knocked and the door gently slid open. All three of Forks best doctors poked their heads in.

"Charlie can we speak to you in the hallway" Dr Gerandy said in a quiet controlled voice. Bad news. Just the look on his face was enough to tell me that. Charlie slowly stood up stiff from hours of sitting still and slowly paced out of the room.

"Charlie, I don't know how to say this… but we believe you should think about taking her…" he hesitated; something told me something in Charlie's expression had stopped him.

"Charlie we don't believe the time will help, there's been no improvement, and it's time to start thinking about taking her off of the life support. Even if she manages to maintain this condition she's trapped, she won't come out of it. There's no brain activity and it's time to start thinking about how long you want to prolong her… state using the machines" the doctor I didn't recognize blurted out.

Charlie turned and came back in and took his seat burying his face into the mattress next to Bella's hand. As I watched Charlie in horror, I was vaguely aware of the door opening again. Carlisle walked in and looked at Charlie; he knew instantly with all his years in the E.R how could he not?

I stood and walked out, Carlisle following.

"What happened?" he whispered with absolute pain and horror in his voice.

"I don't know, the story is a bear attack, but that doesn't explain the guard dog."

Just then Embry came through the door "Sam wants to talk to you guys" he hissed

Carlisle and I ran to the edge of the La Push line, it took seconds for Sam to find us. "What happened to her? Was it one of our kind?"

Sams face grimaced, and then he managed to choke out "No, it was one of us. I thought he could handle it, he was just supposed to tell her she couldn't be near him anymore. He said more than he should and she screamed something at him and he lost it. There was nothing I could do, it was all too quick, he phased practically on top of her, that would be enough to kill anyone but then he started to attack too. I phased but by that point he had already hurled himself into the woods."

"Who? I'll kill him" I shouted.

"You don't have to, stupid leech. He's laying in the woods suffering a fate worse than death at the moment. Knowing he killed the girl he loved, knowing he is a monster, worse than a stupid bloodsucker, I don't think so but that's what he's convincing himself right now" Sam hissed.

"Alice, go meet Edward at the house, Emmett and Jasper are waiting for him but they can only restrain him, I doubt they'll be able to reason with him the way you do." Carlisle ordered.

Back at the house Edward was already there, I could see Emmett and Jasper were shielding their thoughts, not letting Edward know why we were all suddenly back in Forks, the one place he had forbidden the whole family from coming back to.

Edwards POV

Everyone including Esme were shielding their thoughts, Alice walks through the door searching for my future, but why? She nods at Jasper and then Emmett and Jasper are on each side of me holding my arms.

"Alice what is going on?"

"Edward, it's Bella" Alice grimaced as my future shifted and she saw me in Italy.

My words came out strangled, every word with immense pain "What happened? Is she alive?"

"I didn't tell you this because I still don't know what it means, but a few months after we left I was still watching for Bella's future just to make sure nothing happened and she would disappear, the first time it happened it scared the hell out of me, but then a few hours later her future would come back to me so I didn't worry about it… then 4 days ago she disappeared from my sight, I waited a full day for her to reappear but she didn't so I came to Forks to look for her."

"Alice, please cut to the chase" She was still shielding her thoughts not thinking ahead at all.

"Edward, she's in the hospital, in a coma. The hospital staff doesn't believe Bella will recover, they're preparing Charlie to pull the plug" pain shot through Alice's expression as her memory of Bella in the hospital bed slipped through her control. I winced and dropped to my knees.

"How?" I mouthed

"She was hanging around the La push kids one had recently gone through the change and he was telling her they couldn't be friends anymore, and he lost control, phased on top of her and started to attack. Most of the damage was done by him phasing, but regardless the damage was done, there's nothing the hospital can do for her. They are keeping her alive with machines pretty much just keeping her breathing and her heart beating other than that they assume she's gone…"

Had it not been Bella, my Bella I would have found it ironically funny. The treaty prevented us from killing humans and this time it wasn't us.

"What room Alice?"

"_3__rd__ floor, room 315" _she thought.

Within minutes I was standing outside Bella's hospital room afraid to move forward, afraid of what I would see. I inhaled deeply knocked and went in. Carlisle was already there sitting with Charlie. The look on my father's face told me all I needed to know; she was as good as dead. I spun on my heels and walked right back out; I would be back after I killed the dog that did this.

Sam's POV

We knew once we heard one of the Cullens was back they all would be, there was one in particular that we all knew would be here sooner or later.

"Sam where is he? It's only fair, either step aside or I will go through you."

"I can't allow that"

I wish Jacob was up and moving by now it had been 5 days since the accident, but remembering my pain from Emily I was only able to survive when word came back that she would survive. This is different though, Bella was not Jacobs and Bella was never coming back.

"go get your coven, I want to hold a meeting, never thought I'd say this but I think it would be wise to get together and talk things out. Meet back here in 20 minutes" I needed to get the pack together; I took my shorts off and let the heat take me. Then threw my head back and let out a loud howl.

"Jacob, I know how you feel all too well, but we need to talk." I started loping towards him.

"LEAVE ME ALONE SAM" he thought.

"No, Jacob we need to talk now… It's about Bella" I added in the double timbre of the alpha, "get up and start coming towards me" and watched as he was forced to listen. I wanted our conversation to be private so I phased back. About a minute later I heard Jacobs footsteps.

"What?" he sneered.

"Jacob you made a mistake considering your… age it's not completely unexpected, but now you have a problem. You need to decide what you're going to do and get on with it. I understand the pain and the agony, and yes I know you think it's worse for you and that may be but it's time to not get over it but live with it."

"how!? Sam I killed her, I'm no better than the stupid bloodsuckers, Bella's last words were right."

"She's not dead… yet, I'm giving you permission to ask them to change her if you think that's best for Bella. Think about her and what she would want Jacob, don't think about your prejudices and wants."

"You're suggesting I ask them to make the girl I love a stupid sick, bloodsucking, monster?"

"I'm suggesting you think about it Jacob… I don't think you would really handle her actually dying any better than… well think about Bella and what she would want. After what you did considering her thoughts and feelings is the LEAST you could do. Think about it, were meeting the bloodsuckers in 10 minutes, be there. Just remember your not the only guy who loves her, as much as I hate them and as little as I would care if he dropped off the face of the planet you need to consider the fact that it's not just about you"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Considerations and Plans

Jacobs POV

What was Sam thinking? Asking those stupid leeches to make Bella one of them, that's a cruel, sick joke she couldn't possibly want that, could she? Would it hurt less if I knew she was living and happy somewhere? Does what I think really matter? I caught up with Sam. "What do you think I should do?"

"Jacob I talked it over with Billy, and we're leaving the decision up to you, but yes we think you should allow them to change her. I think it would be healthy for you, but the decision is yours, not mine."

At that point we reached the little clearing where we were supposed to meet then Cullens. The others came as wolves and stood behind us, only Sam and I would need to be human for this meeting, but they're here because my choice will affect the pack in one way or another. The Cullens came in cautiously, the four males first. The second Edward, I knew him from seeing him and Bella together last year, saw me he slipped into a hunting crouch. The dark haired one and one of the blond ones grabbed him.

"Him, he's responsible for all this."

"I loved, I love her, I didn't mean for any of this and if I could trade places with her I gladly would, I would take her pain and be thankful for the chance because something as sweet as Bella should never feel the pain I have inflicted on her. Then again I'm not alone, you hurt her too, you made her running to me a necessity when you told her you didn't want her."

"HOW DARE YOU, I left her for her safety. I was trying to save her life, the life that YOU have taken, what good was all her pain, and my pain when in the end all my efforts failed because a stupid mongrel couldn't control himself." He hissed back.

Everyone stood back watching our conversations. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself. Everything he accused me of was true, hard to hear but true.

"Can you take a walk with me, I would like to speak to you. I mean no harm and I won't stop you if you choose to rip my throat out because it's what I deserve, it's what I would do if our roles were reversed"

The blond leader looked at Edward meaningfully like they were having a private conversation in their heads, finally Edward looked at me and said "I will walk with you and hear you out, but know this dog, nothing you say can change what you've done…"

Edwards POV

What could the dog possibly need to talk to me about? I tried getting something from his head but his pain and grief were too strong it consumed his every thought. Good he should suffer, although his pain and grief were strong they were a mere shadow of mine.

"What" I growled to get this stupid conversation started.

"I need to talk to you about something's that are unbelievably hard for me, please just answer me honestly" he almost pleaded… what was the dog looking for from me… comfort? Pity? He sure wasn't going to get it from me.

"Can we hurry this up, just spit it out, I want to go be with Bella."

"Edward, I need to know what your feelings are for Bella"

"What does it matter? Yes I love her, love her more than anything including myself, but none of that matters. Bella is going to die and I'm out here wasting time with you, mostly because I believe she would want me to. When I was away, I was useless, all I saw was Bella, she had my every thought consumed my mind completely and when she dies I will find a way to die too."

"What if she didn't have to die? What if we…"

He broke off and I saw it in his head, he was willing to let us change her into something he hated to save her. I dropped to my knees.

"Edward, I'm asking no begging you to change her. I'm guessing it's what she wanted before you left. I need her to be happy again even if she's not the Bella I love. Her happiness comes before mine. If she can be happy with you then maybe…"

"What makes you think I care about you?" I interrupted. "This conversation is over, I'll talk to my family and we'll get back to you, right now I have to go be with Bella."

Later, in Bella's hospital room with my family, well all except Rose who absolutely refused because she had never really liked Bella anyway and hated to see our family mourn for the girl. Charlie was sleeping by Bellas side. I was on the other side holding her hand, staring deeply into her newly mangled (well about a week ago) face.

"What did the pup want?" Alice questioned

"HE gave me permission, well begged really that I change her"

Every single one of my families minds were stunned into complete silence. Jasper was the first to regain thought.

"It's a trick they want you to change her thereby breaking the treaty and then they attack"

"No, Jasper I searched his mind thoroughly, there was absolutely no thoughts of that. Sam approached Jacob about the matter; Sam and Billy think it would be best all around."

Alice glared at me "He has no intention of changing her; he's going let her die and then run off and find a way to die too. Damnit Edward why are you so masochistic, do you really enjoy pain in your life?"

"Absolutely not Edward" Esme said as if to a 3 year old caught coloring on the walls.

"She deserves better, we left because she deserved a life where when she died she would go to heaven. I will not take her soul"

"Edward, you must be objective, what would Bella want, because I can assure you it's not just her life and happiness hanging in the balance, it is all of ours, and the wolves'." Carlisle was trying to reason with me but I didn't want to hear it. The idea of changing Bella was so… tempting it was hard not to. But if I changed her now all that pain we all went through when we left especially hers was pointless.

"If you won't I will, Edward I still see her being part of our family… and being happy. LOOK" Alice threw her vision into my head, I saw us all sitting around fighting (playfully). Emmett and Bella acting as if they had been born brother and sister, even Rosalie was happy. I shoved the image out of my head. Even if I wanted to how? Charlie NEVER left, he would not leave Bella until her heart stopped and once her heart stopped it was too late. Alice foreseeing my last and final objection said "Carlisle can arrange it, he'll unplug the monitors, Charlie will be so grief stricken he won't notice Bella still breathing, her injuries are bad enough to require a closed casket so we bury an empty casket. We stay for the funeral and to make plans on where to go next and a month later we leave"

"Fine" I whispered. I didn't have the strength to fight my whole family, I knew they would win, the vision in Alices head told me that much.

Less than a week later, we put our plan into action. Carlisle intensified the pressure on Charlie to pull the plug, something he hated doing but everyone agreed that keeping Bella in this state was cruel to everyone including and especially her. Charlie eventually caved one night.

"Carlisle, I…" he started crying trying to hold back the tears. "I think your right, I… think… it's… time to say goodbye" Charlie crumbled into a broken heap on the floor watching his pain was unbearable, I wished there was some way to tell him without telling him. So I said the only thing I could think of.

"Charlie, I know… well I'm not a father so I don't know but I can see the pain your going through and I just want to say something, it will sound absolutely stupid but here goes… by letting her go your allowing her to go where she should be, your allowing her to… move on, and just because you won't be able to see her and talk to her anymore doesn't mean she won't be watching over you, she'll always be with you and part of you." I kept my face in the frown of pain while smiling smugly to myself… Charlie had no idea how true those words were. I'm sure no matter how much distance we put between us and Forks I'm sure Bella would always check on her friends and family.

"Edward is right Charlie, I'm sure Bella will be very happy in her next life and where ever she is she'll never forget you" Carlisle said following my lead trying to comfort Charlie.

We all left the room for the rest of the night, Charlie was saying his good-byes and none of us wanted to intrude. In the morning Charlie called Carlisle in and Carlisle pulled the plug on all Bellas machines. Moments later Charlie came out overwhelmed with grief; Alice went and comforted Charlie while Carlisle took Bella to the "morgue". I left the hospital carefully controlling my emotions to show just the right level of grief. When I got home Carlisle and Bella were already there.

"It needs to be done now Edward she's fading fast without the machines." Carlisle whispered.

I picked Bella up off the bed, "I'm sorry love, I wish it didn't have to hurt" I said before sinking my teeth into her beautiful neck. I lost control a little and took more than I intended to but Carlisle stopped me before I took too much. We moved her to my room because it was the part of the house that Bella had spent the most time in when she was human.


	4. Chapter 4

I feel the need to reiterate I OWN NOTHING… I wish. Also I do not include a whole lot of Edwards mind reading mostly because the chapters are already so long and it's just hard to do, so please forgive me and I'll try to include it more in later chapters

Chapter 4 – Awakening

I stayed with Bella while she burned, there was nothing I could do but watch and hold her. I watched as life returned to her, half a day into the burning she started screaming, I was terribly conflicted as to whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. It symbolized the venom was working healing everything that had been broken. I held her hand and endured the shrieks hoping it would end soon. A short time later, the screaming stopped.

Bellas POV

I swam in a sea of darkness wondering if this was what death was. I was sure it wasn't, there had to be something else… oblivion or heaven… or something but to be here with nothing but time to think. I couldn't find my way back to my body but I didn't have anywhere to go either… I started thinking about Edward, Jacob, Charlie, Renee and everyone else I loved. What had happened to them? Was I dead, or was all this just another terrible nightmare? I ran in circles in my head for what seemed like an endless space of time.

Then suddenly I felt something… pain. Sharp burning pain. The burning spread and the feeling of my body came back to me for me to wish it never had. I wished for the terrible blackness again, or death or anything. I started shrieking and screaming I couldn't find the words to tell whoever sat next to me to kill me. The burning raked over me for what seemed like forever. I heard Edwards voice and knew I was dead… this must be hell. Grateful to at least have Edwards voice even if I couldn't see him I shut up and listened.

"Bella, love it's okay, it will end soon. I'm sorry, so sorry…" Edward kept whispering. It almost made the pain easier.

Edwards POV

My family was taking care of everything. Helping Charlie plan the funeral to be held in a few days. Alice had to call Renee, only after Bella was "dead" did Charlie tell us he held on to his hopes that Bella would pull through and that he had never really told Renee how serious it was. In the back of my mind I had wondered where Bellas mother had been but decided not ask. Renee was here within 10 hours of hearing the news, still too late to say good-bye. She hated and blamed Charlie for it, they didn't talk. They split up the plans so they each had an equal amount to do without having to talk. All that was unimportant though, the more important issue right now was Bella. It had been 3 days and her heart was racing to its last beat.

"Carlisle" I called.

My family came in and _"2 minutes and counting"_ she thought at me.

"Bella" I said quietly and suddenly her eyes snapped open.

Bellas POV

The burning had intensified and then abruptly ended, well all except my throat, my throat still burned.

"Bella" I heard Edwards beautiful voice, as though it were the first time I had ever heard it. My eyes snapped open, and I was stunned. It was so sharp and clear. I had never seen this well before I was sure of that. I thought about moving and my body immediately shot up into a weird position I was unfamiliar with. Instantly I was shocked, all seven of the Cullens stood staring at me. All gloriously beautiful as if I was seeing them for the first time. Edward took a calculated step forward.

"Bella, love a lot has happened, there's a lot to explain but I need to know where to start. What do you remember?"

I thought about that for a minute the memories were so fuzzy I couldn't be sure they were real. "I think I was in the woods with Jacob, we were arguing, I started to walk away and then something attacked me, I think, a huge russet brown wolf."

Edward slowly walked over to me each step calculated as if he were being very careful as if there were danger. I instantly inhaled, shocked, what was going on… I hadn't been breathing… how was that poss… instantly I knew the answer. I inhaled deeply again trying to settle myself.

"What happened, I have put enough to understand that I'm one of you… what happened Edward?"

He looked at Jasper and both Jasper and Alice nodded.

"I don't believe we have time for a complete run down but here's the short and not so sweet version…" he hesitated. "Jacob was the wolf that attacked you, when the wolves are in their human form and they get too upset they change; they can't control themselves their unstable. Jacob changed almost on top of you, enough to kill anyone, but you survived. He also attacked you, yet another thing you weren't supposed to live through…" Edward hesitated. "But somehow you did, help got there and took you to the hospital, you would have died but they kept you alive, but barely. They had done everything they could. Alice had seen you disappear and got scared. She came to Forks and found out what had happened, then she called Carlisle and Carlisle brought us all back to Forks. We were all… anyway we thought you were going to die when the wolves asked us to change you. We convinced Charlie you weren't going to get any better and that keeping you on the machines was wrong…" something in my expression must have given away my thoughts "love, you weren't going to get better and it was killing Charlie to keep you alive on the machines, if there was any other way we would have done it; but you really weren't getting any better. We convinced Charlie to say good-bye. Once he believed you to be dead there was just enough life left in you to change you"

Edward nodded and then said "Bella love I need to take you hunting, Jasper is screaming at me in his head, you're in pain, none of us want that. I promise we will answer all your questions but you need to hunt first. "

I ran with Edward through the house and out the door, while I ran I was thinking about all that he just told me. What was going to happen to me now? Edward didn't want me, had that changed since he'd changed me? I refused to let myself hope. No, he was acting out of guilt for not being here to protect me. Soon, too soon he would probably leave me again.

The more pressing issue on my mind was Jacob. I wasn't sure how to feel. What he had done was an accident; that much I understood. I thought we were best friends how could he have kept such a secret from me. I felt intensely betrayed. His secret took my human life away. Edward stopped and blew right by him, slowed then turned and ran back to him. He saw the intensely confused look on my face.

"I thought we'd stay in the country, unless you want to continue to Canada?" He joked and that beautiful smile that I loved so much was on his face.

"What are we hunting?"

"Deer, I thought something easy for your first time"

"Where?" I asked starting to get impatient as the burn intensified.

"You give a man a fish, he eats for the night. If you teach him how to fish, he eats for a lifetime." Edward joked "Listen, let your senses find them"

I stopped hearing EVERYTHING. Then I caught it the sound of…. 5 beating hearts, then I inhaled. I could taste everything, nothing that particularly appealed to me though. I frowned.

"Don't worry love, you'll get used to it, they're herbivores and what your body really wants is human… meat eaters smell a little better though."

"What do I do?"

"What do you want to do?" I thought about that for a moment then decided to follow my senses to the sound of the beating hearts. As we got closer my body moving soundlessly through the woods slipped into a hunting crouch.

Edwards POV

I watched as Bella hunted the deer, she was… words failed me. Absolutely beautiful… didn't even begin to cover it. I watched in awe until she turned to me and said "I'm guessing I could have done that better" looking down at her dirty, bloody clothes.

"No, you did great. I was just… dazzled" Using her words.

"You never came back looking like this." She stated confused.

"Century's of practice love" I answered back

"No, only one." She corrected.

"Should we head back now?" I asked.

"Race ya" She exclaimed already taking off before the words were all the way out. We ran home as fast as we could, I held back a little letting her win without showing her I was letting her win. When we got back to the house we saw Alice bouncing on the front steps too excited to go in. She pranced over to Bella and gave her a big hug. Then we all went inside, everyone was waiting in the living room. Carlisle spoke first.

"Welcome back Bella, how do you feel?"

"Strange. My emotions are… so much stronger. And trying to take everything in… and worrying about….?" She broke off making the face that said she had said too much.

"What are you worrying about Bella?" I asked truly concerned.

"Everything… what's going to happen? When are you guys leaving? What about Charlie and Renee, how are they doing? What about Jake?" she said so fast I almost didn't catch it all.

"Bella the future is up to you, the only thing you can't do is go back to your parents. They truly believe your dead, a necessity to keep them safe. Your funeral is tomorrow. With that out of the way the family will be here for a month while we prepare for the move to somewhere else. You are more than welcome to join us if you want. You have always been a part of the family Bella, we love you." Carlisle answered ignoring her question about the mutt.

"What about Jake?" She said more passionately, I scanned Jaspers mind for her emotions. He sensed extreme sadness, compassion, and loss. He was concerned because all the emotions were VERY strong almost overpowering.

"Jacob is fine, no one hurt him. He's somewhere around his house love. He… I don't want you near him" I said. Mistake, big mistake. Jasper felt it immediately. She turned and snapped "YEAH, WELL WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU, YOU DON'T WANT ME REMEMBER? YOU LEFT ME; YOU FILLED ME FULL OF LIES ONLY TO BREAK ME WITH… 4 STUPID WORDS."

"Love I left to protect you from what we are, I saw what I was doing to you. I didn't want you to have this life. I wanted so much more for you. I left and I lied. But how could you… no how do you still believe those words. After all those times I told you that I loved you, how could you let 4 little words convince you otherwise?"

"It never made sense for you to love me, I knew that."

"You don't see yourself clearly, love, my love for you is… unbreakable. I will never leave you; thankfully I have no reason to leave anymore not that I could even if I tried." I explained.

"I need to see Jake"

"No, Please Bella be reasonable, Alice can't see you when you're around the dogs. Therefore I can't be sure you're safe…"

"Edward, I promise I will be fine I need to see him." She pleaded.

"How about tomorrow after the funeral. I'll ask him to come, tell him you want him. That way if… if something goes wrong were all here to help…" I said.

"Bella you may not be able to handle seeing Jacob, he's human. Newborns aren't supposed to be around humans until after about the first year or two. You could lose control and kill him. His body doesn't react to venom the way yours did, it would kill him if you bit him." Carlisle explained when it looked like Bella was about to argue.

"Okay, what about the funeral, I suppose you all have to go?" She questioned looking at me.

"Almost all of us… Rosalie and Emmett are staying behind, being that Rosalie didn't like in your human life. There will be nothing suspicious about her not being there and Emmett staying with her is just natural." Carlisle explained.

Alice interjected "Can I take Bella and get her cleaned up, this" she waved her hand at Bellas clothes "is driving me absolutely insane"

Bella groaned and we all smiled "Haaaaa! Alice has a new Barbie now… awesome… I need some excitement, something to laugh at" Emmett boomed wagging his eyebrows in that suggestive manner.

"Go get cleaned up, love." I said as Alice grabbed Bella and bolted up the stairs already considering all the ridiculous out-fits she would try to make Bella wear.


End file.
